Value dependency is about how another person’s value from conflict affects your own value. Whether another person gains or loses value from a conflict can also cause us to gain or lose value as well. Plainly put, whether something makes another person happy or sad, can also make us happy or sad. The degree to which that happens determines the value dependency of a conflict. Value dependency can be examined by 1) the degree to which individual parties are value dependent, and 2) whether that value dependency is direct or inverse.
When talking with someone, it is helpful to know what type of conversation you are in. You can do so based on a conversation's direction of communication (a one-way or two-way street) and its tone/purpose (competitive or cooperative).
I have to admit that I sort of like looking through the “List of cognitive biases” on Wikipedia. There is something powerful about being able to put a name to the bias. There’s also something a bit disconcerting about the myriad of ways we can mess up our thinking.
Have you ever had a conversation with a dog?
The other day, I had a sarcastic conversation with my corgi along the lines of “aw, you have no idea what I am saying, but since I am saying it in an excited voice you think it’s important!” And my dog, not knowing any better, gave me her full attention. Her head was tilted, her ears perked up; surely there was something important in what I was saying.
At its core, trust is about the uncertainty of what people will do. To be trustworthy is to be predictable. Can you reliably predict what others are going to do? Can others reliably predict what you are going to do?