Talking At, Not With: The Problem of Disconnected Conversations

Ever watch two people having a conversation, and neither of them are talking about the same thing?

A while back, I was having a conversation with a friend about politics. It started off pretty even keeled, but the longer we talked the more heated it became. I would make a point. My friend would make a point. Then I would make another point. Then so would my friend. And so that cycle of point-counterpoint continued, each of us building up our points as if there were an imaginary judge that would declare a winner.

Everyone Has Their Reasons: Be Wary of Labeling Others as Irrational

“It just doesn’t make sense.”
“They’re acting against their own interests.”
“I’m sure they’ll listen to reason.”
“They’re being irrational.”

How often do you hear people use these kinds of phrases? How often do you hear people describe those they disagree with, or don’t quite understand, as being “irrational?” When we call someone irrational, we lose the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of that individual’s values. In essence, we write that person off.

Using SWOT Analysis to Tell a Compelling Story

SWOT analysis can be incredibly useful in visualizing conflict. It can provide an overview of your internal capacity for action (strengths and weaknesses) and external circumstances (opportunities and threats). Used effectively, SWOT analysis can inform and enable good decision-making. However, I think SWOT analysis is often a tool that is easily misused, like something people only use in their yearly strategic planning rather in daily decision-making.

Does Culture Make Conflict Work for You?

Whether it’s at home, in the workplace, or in society, culture is an important part of a living system of conflict decision-making. Culture represents the accepted conflict resolution processes, behavioral norms, general values, and world views of a specific group of people.

Because of culture’s ubiquity, it has an enormous impact on whether conflict creates or destroys value for you. Ideally, culture helps its individuals resolve conflict and create value. However, culture can lay a foundation for failure. It can sacrifice making good decisions for quick decisions, or making creative decisions for “this is how we’ve always done it” decisions.